The Orchid Trees?

Bittersweet laughter filled the sky


as we danced among the orchid trees.


We twirled in sorrow, something we deny


in our dance among the orchid trees.





Softly our footsteps echo and sound


in the hollows of the orchid trees.


Too swiftly to even grace the ground


in the hollows of the orchid trees.





Scarlet ribbons flowed from our skin


wrapping around the orchid trees.


The translucent flesh stained with crimson


lapping around the orchid trees.





Our last shaky breaths taken in strife


heard only by the orchid trees.


Our last call, last declaration of life


heard only by the orchid trees.





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Strange. I don't know what brought on this attitude of angst/death/whatever you want to call it.





Thoughts?

The Orchid Trees?
I loved it! Loved the way you echoed the words "orchid trees!" Love the depression in its simplicity.
Reply:Well, I'm glad you've started posting here. You've got a really interesting way of writing. I appreciated the sense of rhythm in this piece. It's very well crafted.
Reply:Wow, that was really good. Amazing piece of work.
Reply:You are an excellent poet. This was extremely creative and well thought of. Your poem takes on a unique style of its own. I would suggest publishing on Poetry.com, because a poem this creative could very well win a major prize. This is brilliance. Pure brilliance. You've got a bright future in writing. Keep it up, Superstar!! You're going far!!!
Reply:This is brilliant!





I love the backbeat, the repetition of the rhythm. This is a fine piece of poetry.